Leith’s largest and most idiosyncratic charity shop is shutting its doors.

Keith Tolstoy writes:

Leith’s largest and most idiosyncratic charity shop is shutting its doors.

Hidden away in Sandport Place between Plumbline and the Roseleaf, the Thrift Warehouse has never attracted the steady flow of customers it enjoyed at its old premises in Pilrig.

Now, sadly, the axe is falling, and the poor old warehouse will be wafted upwards to join the Edinburgh University Settlement shop (formerly in Great Junction Street) and the Roman Catholic Cathedral shop (late of Leith Walk) in the great dilapidated pedestrian precinct in the sky.

But it’s not gone yet, and book lovers need to get their asses down there smartish.

In these dark days when many charity shops seem to stock few books other than John Grisham, chick lit and The Da Vinci Code, the Thrift Warehouse has always offered a far wider range. Above all, it’s had no phobia about filling its shelves with – dare one say it? – books published before 1990.

And now nearly all the furniture’s gone, there’s space for all the books there was never room to display before. (All hardbacks are now £1; all paperbacks 50p.)


Okay, “display” may be too strong a word.

We’re not talking hours of labour by sweating window-dressers. We’re talking “large heap of dusty cardboard boxes in the centre of the floor.”

Probably a couple of dozen of them, plus the books on the shelves and in plastic baskets, and the little array of collectable ones behind glass at the back of the shop.

It may not sound like much, but working through them all took me more than two hours – and they were worth it.

At one end of the scale, there are some handsome old bound volumes that would be worth having just for their ornamental value; at the other, such contemporary masterpieces as The Idler Book of Crap Towns. In between – well, impossible to generalize. Old and new-ish, fiction and non-fiction, classics and I-don’t-know-why-you-keep-filling-the-house-with-that-rubbish. A diverse array, but plenty of good stuff in the mix.

Just wish my pockets were as deep as the holes in my credibility…

How to Censor Yourself in Three Easy Steps (and Enjoy doing it)

How to Censor Yourself in Three Easy Steps (and Enjoy doing it)

In our current society you would have thought that swearing would have become a lot more accepted. It is after all only language, and some of the “heavier” profanities are all from good Anglo Saxon sources. I sometimes consider myself to veer towards the prudish, but even I like to vent a bit of the old blue language every now and again. Sometimes it really is the only way to get the point across, and is not as has been claimed by some a sign of a limited vocabulary. For heaven’s sake I have been known to use the word meritocracy in the past.

It has been suggested by a Scottish Comedian (either Billy Connolly or Jerry Sadowitz, who both like a bit of the f’ing and b’ing) that it isn’t the supposed offending words that cause the harm. Sometimes it is the words that surround them. Supposedly innocent words like off or get to go quite often with f**k. They add the extra dimension that causes the offence. If anyone can remeber who came up with this one let me know, its going to drive me up the wall.

So, for the sake of those who deal with people who don’t like swearing, here is a three part guide to toning it down.

Step One: Identify the words to be changed. In this case the favourites seem to be antomical references or sexual ones.

Step Two: Find an alternative to put in place. (fandango, burnt umber and heliotrope are some of my favourties, though you could always take something more topical like trams as your source, they seem to be annoying loads of people at the moment in Edinburgh)

Step Three: Substitute the new word for the old one. For example when being jostled in a crowd you could always tell the person annoying you to:

“Tram off”

Or

Ask them: “What The Tramming Flip Flop do you think you are doing.

As an additional part to all this be as inventive as possible, and use as much vehmence as you would with the original phrases. Surely after all no one can take offence at being told to:

“Get the gherkin herring away from me or I’ll smash your double glazed isotopes in”

Dave

Precious Personalities

Precious Personalities
I was taken aback by events at Heathrow recently. Not with the fact that the new terminal wasn’t peforming in the way that it should do, or at the expense that it has cost to have the thing put in place. These are seemingly the everyday factors that we have to deal with in our modern society. Overpriced work delivering shoddy quality results is a bit of a norm, and you can guarentee that someone, somewhere is doing very nicely out of it thank you very much.

It was more the reaction that Naomi Campbell had to one of her bags going missing, and then “allegedly” resorting to assaulting a police officer. I am guessing that with all of the pieces of luggage that went astray, or tumbled into the mountain of cases to be sorted, it was assumed by the model that hers would float to the surface with some kind of catwalk protection.

After five days mopping floors at New York airport on her last community service, you would have thought perhaps she would think twice about causing a stink whilst anywhere near the runway. Perhaps her alleged “assault” on the  policeman is a desperate attempt to get into a long term career in the cleaning industry. Swapping modelling for the mop permanently.

I guess what concerned me the most was that there is currently an idea  that as a celebrity its okay to do anything, at anytime to anyone. The sentences handed out seem a lot more lenient than they are for any other member of the public. I can’t see the powers that be having such a relaxed attitude if it had been me and thee that were bopping a bobby over our lost wheelie cases.

Dave

Leith News

CHANGES TO LEITH FESTIVAL PAGEANT ROUTE.

LEITH FESTIVAL PAGEANT ROUTE HAS BEEN CHANGED DUE TO TRAM WORKS AND DIVERSION OF TRAFFIC,

ON 7TH JUNE SATURDAY ROUTE WILL BE

ASSEMBLE AT LOCHEND PARK (OPPOSITE LOCH INN PUB / BEHIND THE HIBS GROUND)

DOWN LOCHEND ROAD,TURN RIGHT TO

VANBURG PLACE,

HERMITAGE PLACE,

EAST HERMITAGE PLACE,

LINKS GARDENS,

THEN ENTER LEITH LINKS AT LINKS PLACE. 

IF YOU NEED ANY HELP WITH THIS CHANGE OF ROUTE PLEASE PHONE OR EMAIL MARY MORIARTY, e-mail mary@leithfestival.com.


A few April Fools stories from around and about

Turtle

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article983625.ece

Nick Clegg

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2008/apr/01/nickclegg.pressandpublishing

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy

http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/2008/apr/01/7

flying penguins


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